I voted no, my wife voted yes.

Im a classically liberal conservative Catholic. My wife is a left wing, pro gay marriage atheist. And she is a pretty awesome person to boot.

After seven years of marriage I can say one thing for certain. Your political view doesn’t make you a good or bad person, your actions do.

Every time the marriage plebiscite comes up both of us have to work hard to keep a level head. And believe me it is hard work. But everything good takes work.

In a debate where each side holds passionate views it is easy to fall into divisive rhetoric. SBS, the government broadcaster, labelled the “vote no” Sydney skywriter a jerk for simply writing his view. News Ltd journalists have labelled yes supporters as bullies and thugs.

In my own life, I’m yet to have participated in a debate where calling the opposition names has resulted in them changing their opinion. But I have seen personal attacks result in deeper divisions.

After the votes are counted we’ll all still be here together.